I believe that one of the reasons why the divorce rate is skyrocketing high is simply because we have all these rules around our relationships that make us feel like we’re suffocating in our relationships.

I want you to flirt.

I want you to know that it is ok to be in a relationship and have meaningful conversation with other people.

(including other people of the opposite sex that, yes, you could “technically” have sex with)

(enjoy the video version)

My Experience With This:

A handful of years back, I was feeling super trapped in my relationship:

I felt like I couldn’t be fully self-expressed. I couldn’t be myself. I couldn’t have the meaningful and deep conversations with people that I wanted to have them with. I was always concerned with:

Is he gonna get jealous?

Is he gonna be worried that I talk to this person?

Should I hide that I had a conversation with this person?

The moment I woke up…When did we decide that it wasn’t okay to communicate and connect deeply?

Connecting deeply doesn’t mean that you’re gonna jump into bed with someone. Connecting deeply means that we’re connecting human to human and getting to know one another.

When we get into relationships, it is an just assumed that we will stop connecting & opening our hearts up to other men & women because we’re worried that we’re gonna make someone jealous or that we’re doing something wrong.

So when you have parties, mingle, talk, & connect with other people.

Let your partner flirt a little…seriously, has anyone ever felt bad after flirting? No, you feel good & lit up! The only reason you feel bad is because it feels like you’ve done something wrong.

The Benefits:

In my experience, this takes the choke-hold off relationships, helps you to transform jealousy, step more into your power, more into your confidence, be more secure in your relationship, & be more appreciative and respectful of your partner.

Your Turn:

If you’re honest with yourself, we all have some version of this story happening in our relationship and what would happen if you made your own rules? What would happen if you loosened the grip about what you’re supposed to do or not supposed to do when you’re in a relationship?

(I believe everything would transform)

Won’t This Cause Fights & Jealousy?

I’m not saying jealousy isn’t gonna come up & I’m not saying that a situation like this couldn’t cause a heated debate or discussion between you and your partner. But there’s fire & magic in that. There’s a deeper level of connection that you and your partner can also discover, by starting to loosen the reigns on how you control one another in your relationship.

How To Handle The Jealousy:

Pay attention to your jealousy… remember, this is the opportunity for you to go inward and understand, why do I feel this way? Why am I reacting this way?

Why am I starting to get a little bit crazy when I see him over there having that conversation, or why do I feel so bad when I connect with someone else?

Because connection is beautiful. Connection doesn’t have to be only sexual. But often times we move situations into cheating or lying and deceit simply because we haven’t felt that level of connection and it pulls us at such a strong level.

I believe we are connection-starved in this world

Am I suggesting that I don’t get jealous?

I knew jealousy was gonna come up for us. As you release the choke-hold on your relationship and start to shift some of the rules and expand your connection, what’s naturally gonna happen is various emotions are gonna pop up.

But I was committed to that transformation.

I was committed to not staying in jealousy because it was comfortable.

To not staying in jealousy because it was “justified”.

We became conscious of how we were both feeling (& stopped blaming each other for how we were feeling) and navigated through that together. This has allowed us to be more fully expressed in our relationship and deepen our own love and intimacy.

I would love to hear in the comments below about your experience with jealousy or feeling trapped in relationships and how this applies to you.

MAKE IT A GREAT DAY,

Janelle xo